Have you ever downloaded a dating app or set up a profile on a site? If so, you’re one of the 30% of U.S. adults who have tried an online dating platform at one point in time.
However, swiping on someone’s profile can be more dangerous than you think. Dating sites offer an anonymous profile and the opportunity for abusers to manipulate targets through faceless messages on these new domains. While everyone must remain vigilant, this can be even more important for younger users.
Why Online Dating is Dangerous
Minors have been slipping through the cracks of dating sites since they started. While certain apps have attempted a stricter age verification process, some only require a birthdate, which the user can easily manipulate, making these websites accessible to those who shouldn’t be there in the first place.
The current generation of young adults has grown up in the technological age where their primary connections are made on a screen rather than face-to-face. This has led to an epidemic of loneliness within this age group. The New Surgeon General addressed this concern following the COVID-19 pandemic, stating that this issue had been on the rise before the onset of the pandemic, but the spike since the pandemic has been exponential. Lockdowns and social distancing not only led to an increased use of technology but also an increased need for creative methods of connection and companionship. Even after life started returning to normal, many people maintained this habit of higher tech use.
Why do Traffickers Target People on Dating Sites?
With minors taking to Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and other apps of a similar nature, they unknowingly became underage targets of traffickers. Turning to online dating in a time of personal need for connection can make someone more susceptible to traffickers’ tactics.
Traffickers use manipulation and coercion to connect with their target. While it’s a common misperception that trafficking only happens face-to-face, there is a genuine threat in the online world. 61% of The Exodus Road’s 2023 cases involved social media. However, these statistics do not adequately demonstrate the number of actual incidents, as most cases will never be identified.
Since traffickers use heinous methods of manipulation, some people are extra vulnerable without even knowing it. Through the process of online dating, many people reveal personal information about themselves, which traffickers can use as vulnerabilities for manipulation.
For example, many people feel more comfortable opening up about family or financial troubles and substance use issues online rather than in person. This way, people feel like they have more control and do not have to fear feeling self-conscious. However, this can have devastating effects if the information is taken by a trafficker and ultimately used against them.
How Dating App Dangers Impact Minors
Another area of concern is dating apps made for minors, such as MyLOL, Spotafriend, Skout, and others. These apps specifically restrict the ages of online users to somewhere between 11 and 17; however, on these apps and others that are similar, the age verification process is not in-depth.
During the research process for this article, we decided to try creating accounts on various platforms. None of these apps required more than a birthday or phone number during the verification process, and we could easily use the app’s full functionality with false information. That means that they are highly accessible to teens who are not the proper age to use these apps.
This can allow traffickers to present themself as someone they aren’t while manipulating and coercing a vulnerable age group that is highly susceptible to exploitation. While each website has a warning about age deception and its penalties, this isn’t likely to be a deterrent for a predator.
Trafficking Started on Tinder: A Story From a Survivor
Suzie Skirvin is a police officer and a sex trafficking survivor. She was just 19 when she moved from Utah to California, where she met someone online. She had many dates with this man, and at one point, he asked her how she was going to repay him for what he had been giving her.
After this, she had “appointments” being set for her. This man turned from a boyfriend she met online to a trafficker who controlled her life.
She said, looking back, there were warning signs she has now learned to recognize. His stories didn’t line up, and she didn’t know any information about his personal life (such as his friends’ and families’ names) and never saw him go to work. She also never saw his other social media profiles or inquired about his family.
How to Stay Safe When Using Online Dating
While there are dangers in online dating, it can have benefits if used by an appropriately aged individual. Instead of trying to avoid these platforms altogether, it is crucial to make sure you know how to be safe when using them.
Recognize Love Bombing
For online dating sites, there are some signs to beware of. The first of these signs is something referred to as “love bombing.”
This is when an individual becomes extravagantly expressive of love very quickly. This can be especially dangerous for any individual who is online seeking a relationship due to loneliness or isolation.
Love bombing can present as nonstop compliments, grand gestures such as sending gifts or money, early signs of jealousy, constant communication, pressure to rush into a relationship, or extreme eagerness to meet in person. If a person seems too eager, this can be an early sign something isn’t right. Taking things slowly can help protect you since you never truly know who you are dealing with on the other side of the screen.
Don’t Send Explicit Photos
Another way to stay safe is to be careful what images you share with someone. A guideline is that if you are okay with it being published online, it is alright to send it to a stranger.
Another warning sign is if an individual pressures you to send photos that make you uncomfortable. This is especially important if you are a minor participating on a dating site. The person you are talking to may not always be who they say they are.
Sending nude or partially nude photos is never a good idea. In the most dangerous of circumstances, you may discover that the person you believed you were talking with isn’t who they said they were, and suddenly, a stranger with bad intentions may use those images for blackmail, threatening to publish or forward the images to friends, family, or co-workers unless their demands are met. Often, they require financial payment or continued sexual favors (like more images). This crime, known as sextortion, has been on the rise (increasing 20% between October 2022 and March 2023.)Sextortion can cause a person to feel trapped by a trafficker and willing to do what they ask for fear of exposure and humiliation.
Protect Your Vulnerabilities
Make sure you take your time. Whether that is getting to know someone before sharing too many personal details or even drawing out the conversation longer to make sure you are comfortable meeting in person. All these things will help you stay vigilant and see whether a situation is safe for you.
Sharing too many personal details about your struggles early on can make you vulnerable to traffickers. If you openly admit to having an unstable family, this information can be used to convince you to leave home with a promise of a better life. Another example of potentially dangerous information to avoid sharing is admitting to financial troubles, as a trafficker could then offer up money, stability, or even a job to you, knowing you may be vulnerable to this type of manipulation tactic.
Do Your Research
Investigate their online presence. In the current age of technology, 93.5% of internet users have at least one social media account, while many have multiple. The person you are messaging on a dating site will likely have some form of social media. Either asking for their platform or looking for it yourself could allow for more confidence in the person’s intentions, helping to verify their identity.
Trust Your Instincts
The most important safety precaution is that if something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. If you come across a profile with any cause for worry, remember to report it to the platform or law enforcement.
When reporting an online profile, most platforms allow you to select the profile and report it directly. There may also be “Help” pages available to you with steps to follow to make a report, depending on the platform being used. Reporting suspicious profiles not only protects you from contact with this person, but it can also protect others from manipulation.
If you do decide to meet up in person, taking proper safety precautions is a must. There are many apps available, such as Parry or bSafe, that allow you to send out emergency messages to law enforcement, trusted friends, and family if you experience anything unsafe. They also have options for pre-recorded phone calls that can be sent to your own device so that there are always easily accessible options to remove yourself from an uncomfortable situation if need be.
If someone is pressuring you to meet, prying for personal information, or requesting photos you are uncomfortable sharing, always remember to keep yourself safe and trust any uneasy feelings. Your willingness to protect yourself, first and foremost, might just save your life and even prevent another person from being exploited through trafficking.
If you’d like to learn more about online safety, especially for teenagers and young adults, learn more about how you can bring our Influenced training to your community.
